Ed Brisson & Simon Roy have put up a nice, tight little crime story online called “Catching Up” here. I’ve had my eye on Simon Roy for a while, but I don’t think he has a book-book out yet. Still, I like what I’ve seen so far.
The pacing on this is solid. The conversation mostly flows, but has stops and starts that are natural. Look how the arrival of the waitress interrupts this scene, for example. The tension is on Don’s face. This is something I’d like to develop myself as a writer, knowing when to break a flow for dramatic effect. To know “this needs a waitress to interrupt.”
Another thing I like is how it parcels out information to the reader. You begin to put two and two together and figure out what’s going to happen before one of the characters does. Elements crystallize, and that mysterious, tentative air about the story suddenly becomes dread.
Anyway, read it. Only 12 pages.